Tag: personal growth

Old habits die hard.

Sometimes I think I have it all figured out. I’ve spent days, weeks, or even months making a plan, then tweaking the plan until I felt it was fail proof. The problem with this is, the plan has a lot of moving parts and in my mind, every single one of those parts has to be working perfectly for any of the other parts to work. If one part fails, the whole damn thing will fall apart. So, one little diversion from the plan will cause me to say, “fuck it,” and abandon the rest of the plan.

It wasn’t until recently that I truly started to recognize this behavior in myself. Once I did, I wanted to understand why I do it. Looking deeper, I came to realize that it wasn’t that I actually believed all of the parts had to work together, but that if I convinced myself that was the case then I couldn’t keep failing. Failing big once was way easier to swallow than the potential of failing myself over and over again for each individual part of the plan.

I’m at a point in my life where I finally have a vision of my future. It took me a lot of years and a whole lot of failing to get to the point, but better late than never I suppose. Funny thing is, it’s basically the life 20 year old me envisioned too, she just lost the vision somewhere along the way. Anywho… Now that I have a goal (or 10), I have learned that if I ever want to reach those goals and make my vision my reality, I need to allow myself to fail without giving up. I also need to remind myself that one little snag doesn’t equal failure. I will never be perfect, but as long as I keep pushing forward, I’ll never stay stuck.

P.S. I wrote this for me but wanted to share it with you. I needed the reminder today.

Where I Find Peace When the World Feels Loud

There’s a rare kind of magic in the quiet moments. The world never really stops moving, but sometimes there is calm within the chaos.

For me, it’s late at night when the air is still, the stars are bright, and no one’s around to fill the silence with small talk or distractions. Simply me, the breeze, and the moonlight. It’s as if the world disappears into the shadows, and I can finally breathe again.

I find it in the hum of airports, too. When I’m traveling solo, there’s this odd freedom in being surrounded by people yet answering to no one. Like I’m in my own bubble, quietly observing the stories unfolding around me while no one notices mine.Road trips carry a calm of their own. Just me, my car, and the open road. The sounds of nothing except my tires on pavement, music pumping through the speakers, and the voice inside my head can be both liberating and haunting. Then there are the road trips with the one you love, when the journey itself feels like an adventure waiting to unfold.There are memories, too. Sitting by the water as a teenager, watching the lake shift colors under the night sky. Walking beside someone who felt like home, especially when the destination didn’t matter.And then there’s the library, with the warm, papery smell of books in the air, knowledge and history at your fingertips. A soft corner where you can forget the world and lose yourself in whatever story you choose.Peace doesn’t always show up waving a white flag. Sometimes, it’s just hiding in plain sight, waiting to be found.