Tag: life

Old habits die hard.

Sometimes I think I have it all figured out. I’ve spent days, weeks, or even months making a plan, then tweaking the plan until I felt it was fail proof. The problem with this is, the plan has a lot of moving parts and in my mind, every single one of those parts has to be working perfectly for any of the other parts to work. If one part fails, the whole damn thing will fall apart. So, one little diversion from the plan will cause me to say, “fuck it,” and abandon the rest of the plan.

It wasn’t until recently that I truly started to recognize this behavior in myself. Once I did, I wanted to understand why I do it. Looking deeper, I came to realize that it wasn’t that I actually believed all of the parts had to work together, but that if I convinced myself that was the case then I couldn’t keep failing. Failing big once was way easier to swallow than the potential of failing myself over and over again for each individual part of the plan.

I’m at a point in my life where I finally have a vision of my future. It took me a lot of years and a whole lot of failing to get to the point, but better late than never I suppose. Funny thing is, it’s basically the life 20 year old me envisioned too, she just lost the vision somewhere along the way. Anywho… Now that I have a goal (or 10), I have learned that if I ever want to reach those goals and make my vision my reality, I need to allow myself to fail without giving up. I also need to remind myself that one little snag doesn’t equal failure. I will never be perfect, but as long as I keep pushing forward, I’ll never stay stuck.

P.S. I wrote this for me but wanted to share it with you. I needed the reminder today.

Where I Find Peace When the World Feels Loud

There’s a rare kind of magic in the quiet moments. The world never really stops moving, but sometimes there is calm within the chaos.

For me, it’s late at night when the air is still, the stars are bright, and no one’s around to fill the silence with small talk or distractions. Simply me, the breeze, and the moonlight. It’s as if the world disappears into the shadows, and I can finally breathe again.

I find it in the hum of airports, too. When I’m traveling solo, there’s this odd freedom in being surrounded by people yet answering to no one. Like I’m in my own bubble, quietly observing the stories unfolding around me while no one notices mine.Road trips carry a calm of their own. Just me, my car, and the open road. The sounds of nothing except my tires on pavement, music pumping through the speakers, and the voice inside my head can be both liberating and haunting. Then there are the road trips with the one you love, when the journey itself feels like an adventure waiting to unfold.There are memories, too. Sitting by the water as a teenager, watching the lake shift colors under the night sky. Walking beside someone who felt like home, especially when the destination didn’t matter.And then there’s the library, with the warm, papery smell of books in the air, knowledge and history at your fingertips. A soft corner where you can forget the world and lose yourself in whatever story you choose.Peace doesn’t always show up waving a white flag. Sometimes, it’s just hiding in plain sight, waiting to be found.

Dear Fundrasing Culture: We Need to Talk

Dear Fundraising Culture,

Let me start by saying, “No. I have zero extra dollars. Sorry.”

To the fundraising families:

I know Brittany and Alexis love to dance and Brad lives for baseball. I know, as their parent(s), you love watching them and seeing them shine. But, no, I do not want to buy a $100 football square to help pay for their 45 dance costumes, 11 tournaments, or Disney trip this season. I saw your Facebook post and would have hit you up if I wanted one. There is no need to text. You’re not out there selling Ferraris, so give the high-pressure sales techniques a rest already.

To the fundraising groups:

I fully understand the need to fundraise, but the amount of fundraising that is done is out of control. Parents need a break. Their families, friends, and co-workers need a break. If whatever activity you’re picking for the group requires a new fundraiser every other month and those fundraisers are costing supporters hundreds of dollars sometimes, maybe you should find a different activity that doesn’t require the parent to take out a second mortgage on their home if they can’t charm, guilt, or bully enough people to support their child. And what about those families that have multiple children; do you ever stop to think that your thing isn’t the only thing these parents need to pay for?

Viv’s Unofficial Fundraising Etiquette Guide:

Fundraising Families:

  • If you make a social media post about a fundraiser, assume your followers have seen it, unless you know they are not avid social media users. Do not text or call them personally to put them on the spot. We saw your post and kept scrolling.
  • At family gatherings, or any gathering for that matter, announce the fundraiser to the group and let it go. Do not then walk around making small talk with everyone just to slip it into conversation. You’re at a gathering, not at a LinkedIn networking social. Spend time making real connections with people, not business transactions.
  • Keep in mind that you don’t know what people are going through. People may want to support your child but do not have the means to do so. They may be DoorDashing as a side gig just to not overdraw their account. Do not make them feel guilty or ask why. And definitely do not ask them again if you’ve already asked them once.
  • If someone supports your child, support theirs in return. Fundraising is almost inevitable if you have school-aged children. Some kids have one fundraiser a year and others have multitudes. If someone has supported your child multiple times and you don’t support theirs the one time they are looking for that same support, then you lose the right to ever ask them to support your child ever again.

Fundraising Groups:

  • Know your audience. Select a fundraiser that people are actually interested in. People don’t want to spend $75 on $20 worth of greeting cards.
  • You should always allow the option for families to buy out of the fundraiser. Instead of sending a kid home with just yet another fundraising packet with no real indication of what it’s going for or a goal, also send an envelope stating they can also provide monetary support in lieu of fundraising. Also provide the amount of money the group is hoping to earn and what it will be going towards.
  • If people submit payment via check, do not hold the checks for an extended period. If you’re holding a check for over a month, it is not a good look.

There you have it, my dears. My true feelings on fundraising culture, where everybody expects someone else to foot their bill. Do not get me wrong, I understand why fundraising is done, and I am not completely opposed to it. What I am opposed to is the amount of it that goes on and the unspoken pressure put on people to support every single one of them.

Final Thought: If you are constantly asking your family and friends to spend money on something for your kids, don’t be surprised when they start trying to avoid you.

Carry on….

Viv