It’s 10:00 PM.
Breakfast? A snack-size Laffy Taffy.
Lunch? Half a peanut butter (because who has time for jelly) sandwich.
Dinner? To be determined, but the thought of eating even more ground turkey has me questioning all of my life choices.
I spent the evening DoorDashing with nothing but caffeine running through my veins and the scent of Jim-Bob’s Five Guys order wafting through my car. I was so ready to bust into someone’s bag of tacos, but fear not, I have restraint, and the tacos were delivered safely and fully intact to their rightful owner. I would have sold my soul for a meatball sub, but my bank account just laughed at me.
I almost cancelled dinner all together until I had a stroke of genius: run next door and raid my mother’s fridge. She’s off galivanting in another state and I doubt she took inventory before she left. I’m calling it house-sitting tax; don’t judge me. Jackpot! American cheese and pepper jack slices. The pepper jack was whispering, “pick me,” but with a sigh and preemptive regret, I selected the inferior processed cheese slice. Ham and cheese on wheat it is. Grilled, of course, with a pickle on the side. I may be broke, but I’m still sophisticated.
Here’s the thing.
This isn’t a diet blog. It’s not a feel-good transformation story. It’s a story told through both the past and present of a woman who has been through some shit and is clawing her way to the top with humor, hustle, and a whole lot of sass.
Being broke? That’s just one room in this house of cards.
There’s also the late-night epiphanies, relationship rollercoasters, DoorDash drama, empire building, and occasional momentary meltdowns while trying to decide how I can make ground turkey taste good. I didn’t choose the skinny life. The skinny life chose me.
Welcome to Caffeinated Chaos.
Buckle up! It’s going to be a bumpy ride!
Caffeinated Chaos 